Wings win a game 3-1, play decent, but bet you can't guess who was on the ice for the only goal against? No, surprisingly not Brett "I'm an offensive defenseman who doesn't score" Lebda. Yes, obviously the answer is f'ing Derek Meech.

This is clearly a photoshop, as Meech has never hit anyone, ever.
Meech has done the "un-possible" and made me forgot my hatred of Brett Lebda. During a time when, other than against a team owned by an I don't give a crap Asian named Wang, the defense has been very solid, Meech has pulled off an incredible run of, well, just being terrible. We need Kronwall back worst than Micheal Moore needs to hit the toilet after a late night Taco Bell run. In fact, here's a short list players I'd rather have play in Meech's place.
Doug Janik

Actual picture of Doug Janik (as of 1/14/10)
Larry Murphy

Even with his current serious drinking problem, strange hair, and obvious affliction for little boys (okay, I made that up, but doesn't he look like he'd be one of those in this pic?), he'd be better than Meech.
Steve Chiasson

Apparently Chiasson played for the Wings during the Civil War era, because this black and white is the only picture in the world (aka Google) of him playing for Detroit that isn't an autographed hockey card for sale for probably a nickel. But if he's still alive, which he might be, he'd be better than Meech. Updated by Drew: Chris was honestly unaware of Steve's tragic and fatal car accident back in 1999. Please don't hold that against him. The fact remains that Chiasson was better than Meech.
Mike Babcock

Babbles was a defenseman in his playing days and actually scored 132 points one season in the BHL, which, when converted to NHL points, is 3, one more than Meech. Reggie Dunlop anyone?
Joe Men's Leaguer

Well, this one might be about the same, because this is where Meech should be playing. Simply, you can't get much worse.
Traffic Pylon

Because just like Meech, it would just be a minor inconvenience for opposing defensemen. But unlike Meech, you don't have to feed it during road trips. And it probably gets knocked over less.