Rob Discher, over at the great Production Line blog, writes an incredible piece that combines my three favorite things: hockey, cars and beautiful women. Specifically, he puts the recent Osgood debate into car terms and does it beautifully:
Chris Osgood is basically the goaltending version of my dad’s 2001 Cadillac STS. It was a hell of a ride…it was better than having NO car or a BUSTED car…but it was never going to convince any woman to drop her skivvies who otherwise would have been opposed.
Dad’s STS was a MORE THAN serviceable car. It looked great all shined up and did everything you would expect an American-made high end sedan to do. There were aspects of the STS that you assume might help in pursuit of a young female…but even my dad would admit that this car wasn’t going to prompt a dismissal of clothes.
I like so far. I agree with his next statement that that "true panty dropper cars…like goaltenders…are a rare thing." We shouldn't expect "panty dropping" goaltending performance from Osgood. He's not a Lamborghini.
Ozzie wasn’t brought here to be a Lamborghini. We didn’t sign him up with the thought that he’d single-handedly find us a sack-time companion all on his own. We don’t expect him to go out and steal games. We expect him to be dependable and stay out of MAJOR trouble. We expect him to have a few moments every SEASON where he does something remarkable. Hopefully…the theory goes…those moments add up to something positive over the long run and they outweigh the terribles.
I agree, that's what we expect from him.
Without question though, we need to stop expecting Chris Osgood to play like a true panty dropper. He’s never been consistently capable of doing that…he’s never GOING to be consistently able to make that happen…and hopefully he never HAS to play like that. He’s our backup goalie. He’s our high-end 2001 sedan. Nothing more, nothing less.
Is this Jimmah? Maybe in a few years..
Still, it is with this conclusion that I have some qualms with.
I'm not looking for him to drop panties-we know he's not a Bugatti Veyron or Ferrari Enzo. Nor do I think he's even a Cadillac CTS-V. That even has too much flair for 2010 Osgood. But I do expect him to be a serviceable, reliable mode of transportation, the STS works; boring for the most part, but serviceable. When called upon, it will go, maybe even get you there at a decent rate of speed.
However, the last few years, we've been expecting a STS and getting a Daewoo. Lately, we've been happy when we arrive at the destination in one piece and the car's still running.
I think for $1.5 million, we should be getting a little more than that.