Category #1: Our Very Existence is a Conflict of Interest

 Phoenix: The NHL actually owns the franchise right now after Gary won his dispute with hated rival Jim Balsillie wherein Balsillie tried to move the team to where it would actually make money.  A team that plays in the very league that owns it, hmmm… 

 Detroit: Gary Bettman hate us, everyone knows that.

 Winner: Phoenix 

Category #2:  Attendance

According to ESPN’s numbers…

 Phoenix: Average attendance: 9,825 (30^th in the NHL) 56.1% capacity.

 Pathetic.

 Detroit: Average attendance: 19,127 (6^th in the NHL) 95.3% capacity. 

 What many would like to call a “half empty house” is actually quite misleading.  Though the team’s struggles along with an even more struggling economy has taken its toll, the Wings are still in the top ten as far as attendance.

 Winner: Detroit 

Category #3: We’ve Won a Play-off Series in the 2K Decade 

Phoenix: Ask the people of Winnipeg the last time this team won a series in the Stanley Cup Play-offs. 

Detroit:  Let’s see: 

2000: Beat Los Angeles

2001: Who cares?

2002: Beat Vancouver, St. Louis, Colorado, and Carolina (won the Stanley Cup)

2003: Who cares?

2004: Beat Nashville

2005: Ask Gary how this season went

2006: Who cares?

2007: Beat Calgary, beat San Jose

2008: Beat Nashville, Colorado, Dallas, and Pittsburgh (won the Stanley Cup)

2009: Beat Columbus, Anaheim, and Chicago

Winner: Detroit (the real losers are the good people of Manitoba and my heart goes out to them)

 Category #4: Google Image Search [Team Name] + #1 Fan

 Phoenix:

 Aww…well at least he used to be.

 Detroit:

Kid motherf***ing Rock

 Winner: Detroit

 Prediction: Wings win by the same score as the last game I gave away my tickets (DAL) 4-1.  Keep it simple.  Keep it stupid.

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